I’m sitting here at 9 pm on the day my blog was actually due feverishly working to develop an idea to post. You’ll have to forgive me as I’ve had a lot on my mind lately and this hasn’t been the first deadline I’ve slipped to remember in the past couple of weeks. The reason I’ve been very scatter brained, down in the dumps, and in certain instances irritable is because I’m currently going through the process of losing someone very close to me. Luckily, this is a short window of time and I’ll eventually be reunited; however, the idea of changes within our household and being separated from a person very dear to me here in Denver doesn’t make it any easier. I am constantly thinking about the dynamics of the household in the coming months and how my remaining here in Denver will affect me and the person I care about most.
I have moved beyond the states of denial and self-loathing and am currently trying to go through the motions while making the best of my remaining time here. I realize I still have much to accomplish and practice in my remaining months and therefore it’s not fair to me or anyone around me to continue wallowing in self-pity, as much as I’d like to do so at times. I also appreciate support from others who will be there for me in the coming months and have let me know that things will be okay. I totally agree that things will be okay and will work out in the end, but I’m not naive enough to believe that any of this is going to be easy on either of us.
Okay, so now that I’ve cleared up the fact that I don’t live in a land of rainbows and sunshine, I must make it clear that I realize my own potential and ability to make it through this time. As much as certain individuals might want to believe I’ve lived a sheltered, easy life, this ain’t my first rodeo. Challenges will come but I have the heart of a lion and fear of the unknown will never stop the lion-hearted. I look forward to coming out of this experience a better person for myself and those that I love and will hold any wonderful moments in high regard along the way.