I must admit that I have procrastinated again on writing my blog for this month so here I am writing it the day that I must submit it, but luckily I’ve been given an idea for a topic from our director, Rebecca. I was originally going to write about mental health after Bernie Sanders, who I’m actually supporting until what seems to be an inevitable drop out, made a comment about those supporting Trump or other Republicans as having a mental health issue. This was simply a joke in poor taste and quite a dumb comment from a very politically correct man, so I decided it didn’t really warrant my time to talk about my own issues with mental health over the years. Instead, I’d like to take the time to write about the anticipation of waiting to visit my girlfriend, Courtney, back in Greenville, South Carolina.
It has been forty days now since I’ve gotten to see Courtney in person and I have to admit that it hasn’t been easy for me to focus on everything here in Denver or to remain “in the moment” at all times. I’ve often times found myself spending large amounts of time thinking about her, our baby, and our life after I exit the program and return to South Carolina. I think that everyone around me understands why I wouldn’t be in the moment one hundred percent of the time, but I’m sure it can get frustrating considering they might not know exactly what I’m thinking or going through. However, sometimes when I start thinking too much about other things, I forget the initial reason that Courtney and I decided it would be better for me to stay in Denver a little while longer.
I could have decided to leave with Courtney at the same time, but we both agreed that there were some issues in my life spiritually and emotionally that I needed to explore and work on in order to love her fully and keep our relationship healthy as we move forward. I also wanted to gain some more experience and to experience some things in Colorado that I might not get to experience back home. These were the reasons that I came to do the ESC program in the first place and it’s easy to lose sight of that when you’re busy thinking about what was and what will be in the future.
So, in my remaining time here in Colorado, I’m once again learning a new skill of determining why patience is a virtue and what value patience can have in my own life. Time remaining in Colorado is continuing to shape me into the man I want to embody and that, in itself, is valuable while anticipating what’s to come. In all seriousness though, I’m incredibly excited to be returning home tomorrow to visit the woman I love and to find out the gender of our baby! I’m one happy Dad and though this year hasn’t turned out like anyone thought it would, I’m so glad for what God has given me and know things are only looking up from here!